The key to overcoming loneliness is first, learn to enjoy your own company. See, it’s a matter of turning off the radio, shutting down the TV and being alone with your thoughts and then bringing those thoughts to God in prayer. Get alone with your Bible or some other spiritual book and read in solitude and take the time to meditate and on what you’ve just read and apply it to your life and your relationships. David tells it like this, Psalm 77:4, “I call to remembrance my song in the night: I commune with my own heart: and my spirit made diligent search.” Reading and applying His word will not only make you a more well-adjusted person but it’ll make you more interesting and you’ll have more wisdom and understanding in your relationships.
SOLIDARITY PRAYER. Prayer is the most effective and rewarding when practiced alone. Jesus said that in Matthew 6:6, “When you pray, enter into your closet (or bedroom) and when you’ve shut the door, pray…” When you’re praying and submitting your needs to God, like it says in Philippians 4:6, He’ll bring forth solutions that you’d never realize otherwise. You just can’t hear the small voice of God clearly when other people are around and in your friendships with others, this also makes you a person of more value. Instead of being uptight and insecure, you’ll be able to bring peace and security to each friendship. Once you learn how to enjoy being alone with yourself and with Jesus, you’ll be the kind of person that other people can enjoy being around too. Then, friendships become easier and more enjoyable and you’ll find yourself actually liking other people instead of resenting them. People who don’t really enjoy themselves and aren’t at peace with the Lord get distorted views of what friendship really means. Some of the views they may get are:
- Someone whose job it is to make you happy.
- Someone who’ll be available to meet your emotional needs 24/7.
- Someone who wants to hear all your problems all the time.
- Someone who’ll always agree with you no matter what.
- Someone you can be rude to and will never hold you accountable.
- Someone who only looks out for you and never for themselves and so on…
HOW TO HAVE FRIENDS. You won’t make friends until you’re willing to sow the seeds of friendship. People won’t just go out and “discover” you. “He that hath friends must show himself friendly; and there’s a Friend that sticketh closer than a brother. Prov. 18:24.” First, get to be at peace with yourself and with God then demonstrate your friendliness and respect for other people. Be genuinely interested in them and in their situations and focus on them and not on yourself and your interests. Be interesting, pleasant and upbeat. No one wants to hang around a whiner and a complainer, not even God. “Is it a small thing for you to weary men, but will ye weary my God also? Isa. 7:13. Remember that people are human, aren’t perfect and they aren’t going to be thinking about YOU and your feelings all the time. They’ll let you down and they’ll disappoint you, even good friends will have faults. Learn to believe the best and give people the benefit of the doubt and learn to forgive. “Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.” Matt. 5:7.
Lastly, apply these principles to your friendship with Jesus. Be friendly to Him and show yourself friendly. Don’t expect Him to come seeking you out. Don’t just come to Him with your complaints list. Be real. Don’t put some fake personality to try to impress Him. He knows what you’re all about anyways. Be a good listener and listen to what He says to you through the Word and prayer. Be loyal to Him and when you’re around your “cool” friends, remember not to snub Jesus or make like you aren’t His friend. Take time with Him like any other friend. Ask for His forgiveness and ask Him to draw near to you and help you to be a better person and friend. It’s not good to be alone. Become a person that you want to spend time with. The abundant life that you receive from Jesus will spill over into your outer life and then, you’ll find God bringing quality people into your life.
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